Change Your Story, Change Your Life ✨
There’s a saying my mum always repeats: “Life is lived forward and understood backwards.”
At the time, I didn’t fully get it… But now, it makes so much sense.
Years ago, I found myself stuck in a relationship that made me deeply unhappy. I thought the relationship was the problem – but looking back, I realize the unhappiness started within me. I wasn’t happy with myself or the life I was living, and that inevitably spilled into my relationship.
We all carry wounds, and often we hope someone else will come along to fix them. But when we’re not in a good place, a partner can’t be more than a temporary plaster. And eventually, that plaster falls off… and the wound is still there.
🚫 Escaping Didn’t Work…
I thought changing my surroundings would fix it. I went to Mexico for a Yoga Teacher Training. It was in immersive experiences — like yoga retreats — where real transformation began. But when I returned home, nothing had changed.
Then I moved to London, hoping a new city would mean a new me – but instead, my depression and anxiety returned stronger than ever. I began to understand that true emotional healing goes deeper than changing locations. It finally hit me:
The change I needed wasn’t external – it was internal.
✨ The Power of Rewriting Your Story
That’s when I came across an exercise that changed everything. Rewriting your story. So I sat down and wrote my old story… the version that had shaped my expectations, my identity, and ultimately, my heartbreak.
My old story looked like this: I believed in a fairy tale. I dreamed of falling in love, getting married, having children. I kissed a few frogs, but at 25 I fell in love at first sight. Two years later, he proposed. We married after four, and I was ready for our next chapter – kids, the family, the life I had always imagined. That was the plan.
But when our marriage started falling apart five years in, my entire world crumbled. The identity I’d built – wife, future mother, woman with a plan – was gone. I was 34, heartbroken, single, and questioning everything.
Who was I without that story? What was left?
🥀 The Trap of the Old Story
I realised my pain wasn’t just from the breakup – it was from clinging to the story I thought I had to live. But That “plan” had become a cage. I worked a job I didn’t love to build a life I didn’t question. But it was all based on an idea of happiness that wasn’t actually mine.
So instead of asking “Why did this happen to me?” in a self-pitying way… I started asking it in a curious way: What if this happened FOR me?
🌹 My New Story
I realised I had to go through that collapse to build something better… something real. I began to study, explore, travel. I asked myself big questions for the first time: What makes ME happy? What do I want? What is the meaning I want to give my life?
I became a life coach. I started helping others through the same struggles. I began creating a life that felt like mine – full of purpose, freedom, and possibility. Looking back, I believe I had to lose my relationship to find myself.
🍃 Words Shape Emotions
I’ll be honest: rewriting my story wasn’t easy. At first, it felt forced. Fake. Painful. I cried every time I told the old version. But over time, I started telling the story differently. I read my new story over and over until it felt real. And the first time I shared it without crying… I knew something had shifted.
Your words create your reality. Tell a new story, and you’ll feel a new way.
🌞 Want to Try This For Yourself?
Here’s a powerful journaling practice to try:
✍🏻 Step 1: Write your Old Story
Be honest. Write down the version of your life you’ve been carrying – the one that’s shaped your pain, patterns, and beliefs.
✍🏻 Step 2: Write your NEW Story
Tell your life as if you were a hero; your 90 year old self looking back and telling your grandkids the story of how you grew, healed, and became who you are. It’s not about changing the events... It’s about changing the meaning.
💭 Use These Questions to Guide You:
What have been the biggest challenges in my life?
What experiences pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me grow?
What mentors or guides have helped me?
How can I use my story to contribute and make a difference?
Who am I today because of what I’ve lived through?
Your story doesn’t define you… but how you interpret it absolutely does. And that means you have the power to rewrite your life.
PS: I also shared this as a video on YouTube. If you prefer to listen or watch, you can check it out here:
👉 watch it here.
And if this resonated with you, I’d love to know… What is one belief from your old story you’re ready to let go of?
I would love to hear. Explore more insights on the Happiness Safari blog.
With love,
Nadine
